Ten years after I burned myself out trying to get promoted…
I finally understood what I did wrong.
It wasn’t technical.
It wasn’t my performance.
It wasn’t my work ethic.
It was the way I saw people.
A few years ago, a friend gave me a copy of the book Leadership and Self-Deception.
I wasn’t expecting a gut punch.
But page by page, it felt like the author had shadowed my entire career.
What I thought was being “helpful” and “dedicated” was actually me being stuck in what the book calls “the box.”
➡️ I saw people as obstacles or problems to solve.
➡️ I focused on doing, not connecting.
➡️ I tried to prove my value… instead of building real relationships.
The network ran flawlessly.
The tickets were closed.
The fires got put out before anyone noticed.
But do you know what I missed?
Influence. Trust. Sponsorship. Leadership.
All the things that come from people—not checklists.
Today, I still catch myself slipping back into that old mindset…
…but now I recognize it.
I know how to step out of “the box” and into connection.
I’ve learned how to build mutual success instead of quiet martyrdom.
As I transition into my Epic Encore, this is the #1 lesson I pass on to my clients:
👉 Your value doesn’t just live in what you do. It lives in how you relate
👉 The work that earns you a living isn’t always the work that earns you a seat at the table
👉 And the next chapter of your life deserves more than transactional output. It deserves transformation
If you’re entering your Encore Chapter, I’d love to help you avoid my mistakes and turn your wisdom into something visible, valuable, and legacy-worthy.
Let’s build what lasts.
Ted
